Saturday, April 30, 2011

Just Two More Weeks

It's just for two weeks. Small comfort for my dear Sasha. I've given her my name and my heart and yet I still had to drop her back at the orphanage for "just two more weeks." Before we left the hotel this morning for our last day together, Dan and I made her a little calendar so that she can mark off the days until we return. This morning I told Sasha, "We will be back in just two weeks and then you never have to go back to the orphanage again- ever." I could tell that it brought her some comfort, but her demeanor was markedly different today knowing that she was going back to the orphanage instead of back to Texas.

We did have a wonderful day together despite knowing how it would end. We visited The Church On Spilled Blood, The Peter and Paul Fortress, and the book store located inside the Singer Sewing Company building. In the book store Sasha chose a book on Russian history, a book about the Czars, a fiction story about a horse, and a sort of horse encyclopedia if you will. (If you haven't figured it out yet, the child loves horses.)

The Church On Spilled Blood is a favorite for Dan and I. The entire theme of the mosaics inside the church is simply Jesus. His life, his death, his resurrection. What better theme is there than that? As I stood in the church, Natasha pointed out how one side of the church focuses on his death and suffering. The other side of the church focuses on his birth, life, and resurrection. Suffering and death. New life. This is how it is for all of us I suppose. But I really thought of Sasha. There is this one part of her life marked with sadness and loneliness. Now she is stepping into a new chapter. A chapter filled with friends and family who love her and will speak life, new life, into her.

Just two more weeks my dear Sasha. Just two more weeks.

The Church Of Our Savior On Spilled Blood

The Church On Spilled Blood has more mosaics than any other church in Europe.

The Peter and Paul Fortress. Every Czar since Peter the Great is buried here.
For all you conspiracy theorists, I'm sorry but Anastasia really did die.

We ended our day at a yummy Georgian restaurant.
That's Georgia in Eastern Europe. Not the peach state. :)

Friday, April 29, 2011

It Is Finished

This morning was the first morning that Sasha awakened as Sasha Reese Jensen. My goodness. That blows my mind. She is my daughter. I extended my hand and said, "Would you like to take my name and become my own flesh and blood?" She responded that indeed she would like that, and now it is finished. It is settled. Sure, there are some formalities and processing that must take place, but it is settled. The decision cannot and will not be reversed.

Before the judge stated the decree and the decision she asked us, "Are you sure that you do not want to change your mind?" We responded that no, we do not wish to change our minds. Then she made the decree that on this 28th day of April 2011 this child will be known as Sasha Reese Jensen, daughter to Daniel Gordon Jensen and Kerri Dawn Jensen. As the judge walked out of the court room she paused and looked at me and said, "It is finished."  It is finished. Those words took my breath away even before Natasha translated them into English for me.

My heavenly Father was both adoptive Father and Judge on the day that I become his daughter. I now understand, perhaps for the first time in my life, that just like me it blows his mind that I am forever his daughter. It blows his mind that I have his name. It blows his mind about every child in his Kingdom family. He extends his hand over and over and asks child after child if they would like to take his name and become his own flesh and blood. He is and forever will be infinitely more excited about his adoption of us than I am about Sasha. Sure, there are formalities, some processing and transformation must take place, but the matter is settled. It is finished. Transformation is necessary. Otherwise, I have only changed my name. Without the transformation I will never look like or act like my Father or my big brother in the Kingdom, Jesus.

1John 3:1-2 says "See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don't recognize that we are God's children because they don't know him. Dear friends, we are already Gods children, but he has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears. But we do know that we will be like him, for we will see him as he really is."

I don't know what Sasha or our family will look like in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, but I do know that she will be like us in many, many ways. And ultimately I know that she will look like and act like her big brother in the Kingdom, Jesus.

Alexander Column outside the Hermitage Museum.
Military troops were preparing special programs for
Victory Day which is on May 9.

In the Throne Room of Catherine the Great

Sasha and I share an embrace during our tour of the Hermitage

Sasha and Dan leaving the Hermitage

Thursday, April 28, 2011

It's A Girl!!

Well, it's official. We had our court case today and Sasha is forever "Sasha Reese Jensen." It would be terribly difficult to describe the emotions and thoughts that raced through my mind as I stood in that court room listening to the judge and then hearing her make the decree that "from this day forward this child shall be known as Sasha Reese Jensen, daughter of Daniel Gordon Jensen and Kerri Dawn Jensen."

Sasha had to enter the courtroom at one point during the hearing and answer a few questions and state that yes, she did wish to be adopted by us. The funny part of the hearing came when the judge asked Sasha if she was concerned about communicating with us. She asked, "How will you handle communicating with your new parents until you learn English?" Sasha replied, "It's no problem at all. Natasha translates everything for me!" Hahaha! I guess that Sasha just forgot that Natasha is not coming home to Texas with us! The entire courtroom including the judge got a big laugh from that. Sasha wasn't even embarrassed. She just laughed along with us. What a trooper.

We followed up our hearing with a celebration lunch at a wonderful restaurant right across from the Church On Spilled Blood. As I type this, she sits next to me probably wondering what in the world I'm saying with these funny looking letters on this screen. I stop typing to ponder what I will say next, turn my head, and we look at each other and smile. She knows. She knows that she is forever safe now, and forever part of a family. I know how I feel. What I can't seem to grasp is how she feels. What is she really thinking? What does it feel like to be an orphan one minute and a daughter the next? I guess in many ways I should know. After all, I once was lost. I was once a spiritual orphan one minute and a daughter of the King of the universe the next.

Outside the court house after our hearing
Our celebration lunch

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

She's A Rock Star

We went early this morning (Wednesday) for our medicals at the Russian clinic. The clinic and staff were very kind. After finishing early at the clinic we headed to the orphanage to pick up Sasha. She was ready and waiting at the door for us. Big hugs and smiles were shared. We visited with her orphanage director for a short time where we learned some very interesting news about our little Sasha.

The orphanage director pulled out a newspaper article to show us. As it turns out, Roger Waters of Pink Floyd was in concert this week in St. Petersburg Russia. He has a heart for orphans and selects an orphanage children's choir when traveling through European cities in concert. He just so happened to choose Sasha's orphanage, and Sasha just so happened to be chosen to be in the choir. There in the newspaper photo was Sasha on stage, singing with Pink Floyd in front of thousands of people! She has an autographed photo, t-shirt, the works! Of course, she sang Another Brick In the Wall. My only comfort comes in the fact that they were taught the song in English and so she hasn't a clue what she was singing. :)

We spent the afternoon touring Yusupov Palace. This palace is famous because it is the location where the famous Rasputin was assassinated. Later we ate dinner together and are now hanging out in our room visiting and playing games. Sasha has spent most of the evening playing games on Dan's iphone. She likes to win- that is for sure!

This is a picture of Sasha and her orphanage group at the concert. What an incredible experience. What other crazy and interesting things will I learn about this kid?!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Back In St Pete

Well, we're back in St. Petersburg, Russia after a long flight through Munich, Germany. It is good to be back in this beautiful city. Hearing the Russian language all around us feels welcoming. The weather is absolutely gorgeous here. It has been a beautiful sunny day and St. Petersburg is in the beginning stages of white nights. It is almost 10pm and just now getting dark. When we return to bring Sasha home, white nights will be in full swing. We are very excited to experience it.

We go for our physical exams at the Russian clinic tomorrow. Fun times, I'm sure. We'll let you know how it goes, although I've been told by previous families that it's not a big deal at all. The fun part will be picking Sasha up from the orphanage after our medical exams. Natasha has already told her that we will be picking her up around noon. Sasha needs a time-line. On our last trip she apparently made four trips to the school principal's office insisting that she should have already been released from school to meet her parents. I hope the noon time frame helps cut down on the principal's stress. :) Hey, you have to admire her "take charge" attitude!

This is a picture from our first trip in February. We are inside St. Isaac's Cathedral. St. Isaac's is truly amazing. It is an absolute architectural work of genius. We'll visit several new sites while on this trip and let you see more amazing St. Petersburg sites.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Light At the End Of the Tunnel Of Wait

If ever there were a word associated with adoption, it would most certainly have to be "wait."
We've waited nearly 5 years- sort of- but that's a long story for another time. I first met my dear Sasha last August when she came to Texas with Buckner's "Angels From Abroad" program. We made our first trip to St. Petersburg, Russia in February and have just received a court date for April 28. At long last, my dear Sasha will make her way home. Below is an excerpt from my journal while in Russia in February.

February 22, 2011
I awake this morning and my dear Sasha is sleeping in the living area of our hotel room. I suddenly feel completely overwhelmed. She has so many needs. But what did I expect? I read Oswald Chambers this morning. "Perseverance is our supreme effort of refusing to believe that our hero is going to be conquered. If our hopes seem to be experiencing disappointment right now, it simply means that they are being purified. Every hope or dream of the human mind will be fulfilled if it is noble and of God." Perseverance is not sitting by waiting for God to do something. I have waited for this day for so long believing all the while that I was persevering. However, I don't think I've been truly persevering until now. Now I am in it. There is action. I'm beginning to realize while writing this that I do not need to fear not being able to meet all of Sasha's needs. I could never meet all of her needs. Only her heavenly Father can meet all of her needs. Truth is, I can't even meet all of my own needs. I trust in you Father, and I wait to hear your voice. Please show kindness and speak oh so clearly.