Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Privacy Please

It was five months ago today that we took custody of Sasha in St. Petersburg, Russia. Hard to believe. Things are going pretty well and we're making a lot of great memories.

Fireworks on the Fouth of July

Ready for a friend's 70s party. I had to explain what a hippie was.
So far I only have one major complaint and it not about Sasha. It's about other people, mostly strangers and acquaintances. Let me try to explain.

I have never had anyone who I have just met or am only acquainted with ask me personal, probing questions about my biological children. No one who just met Beth and I or who are only acquainted with us would ever ask me if Beth was ever abused. Was I ever an alcoholic, drug addict, prostitute? You don't just meet someone and start questioning them about their personal history. Good grief. Yet this is what I constantly encounter. People who I am only mildly acquainted with have a nasty habit of point blank asking me what happened to Sasha's Russian parents. Did they die? Why was she in the orphanage? Was she abused? Were her parents alcoholics, drug addicts? Was her mother a prostitute? Dan and I were warned in our adoption training that this would happen. We carefully rehearsed what we would say in these scenarios and yet, I find myself dumbfounded every time it happens. I guess I'm just shocked that anyone would think it appropriate to ask me these questions. What's worse is that more than once people have asked these questions right in front of Sasha. Get real. Grow a brain.

So how do I answer these questions? My tactful response is that we don't discuss Sasha's personal history with anyone outside of our immediate family.  This shuts it down and I quickly change the subject. I dream of some day having the guts to say "nunya- nunya business." Wouldn't that be fun?

So there you have it. My rant for the day.